The acid tongue with gourmet's expertise
For tea cucumber sandwiches a scone
He bent right down and well what did he seize
And loudly sang off-key without a tone
It's one of many horrid happenings
Nought can the mouse's timid nibbling stave
Th'outrageous Thames a troubled arrow slings
That every verbal shock aims to deprave
When dried the terrapin can naught express
With quill white-collared through his life will jog
On wheels the tourist follows hos hostess
Whiskey will always wake an Irish bog
Where no one bothered how one warmed one's bum
Soliloquies predict great things old chum