The marble tomb gapes wide with jangling keys
Since Elgin left his nostrils in the stone
The Turks said just take anything you please
Which neither time nor tide can long postpone
Oh how oh how he hates such pilferings
The North Wind Bites into his architrave
Proud death quite il-le-gi-ti-mate-ly stings
Thou homestead hillside woodland rock and cave
Emboggled minds may puff and blow and guess
With quill white-collared through his life will jog
The colonel's still escutcheoned in undress
We'll suffocate before the epilogue
Where no one bothered how one warmed one's bum
The bell tolls fee-less fi-less fo-less fum